Bacchus

Sunni: ErosBlog has a wide assortment of content, judging by the little I saw while looking through your archives. You've referred to what you offer as "smut", but you also have cute or romantic posts, such as the one on Smittens. And both you and Aphrodite have challenged some negative stereotypes about sex. Do you have a guiding ideal that you have in mind for all content that goes on ErosBlog?

Bacchus: Smut, porn, love, lust, raunch, erotica, sex, fucking, it's all one big sweaty ball of fun with no definitions. On the negative side, I exclude very little. I try to avoid material involving kids or lack of consent. Other things that gross me out personally are very rare -- pictures involving excretion or animal genitalia, say, although in theory you might someday see a link or a quote to an intelligent discussion of those topics. On the positive side, I have more of an editorial policy than a guiding ideal. Sex is fun, sex is pleasure, love is a good thing, people are the funniest monkeys, that sort of thing. I don't mind having a bit of gentle fun with rare fetishists, but ErosBlog condemns nobody's sexuality. The ideal is to be sex-positive, good-humored, and accepting of sexual difference. It's an old truism that you can lead a man anywhere if you've got a strong enough grip on his balls. The people who are trying to exclude sexuality from public discussion are doing it because it helps them control people, helps them lead people around by their genitalia. Me, I figure the more we talk about sex in public, the harder we'll be to control.

Sunni: Speaking of Aphrodite, how did she get to be a contributor? Do you know why she was shy about participating in this interview?

Bacchus: I didn't know you'd even asked her to participate. As for her becoming a contributor, she's been a real life friend of mine for many years, and she volunteered to help cover the blog. I figured a woman's perspective could only help, and did you ever see a blog with too many posts? Nope, me neither. Her blogging pace varies -- she's gone months without posting sometimes -- but I'm always happy to hear from her, and the readers are too.

Sunni: Aphrodite seems to be much more willing to expose details of her sex life than you do. Is that a problem for you? Is it a problem for your readers, that she doesn't follow your approach?

Bacchus: I think the word "seems" is the important one there. Most sex bloggers change names, dates and key details, just to keep things a bit private. Aphrodite doesn't live in my town and I don't know most of her social circle, but what little I do know suggests to me that she's pretty aggressive about mixing up the details before she posts. By the time she's done, the details of her sex life that she exposes aren't uncomfortable for me. Besides, when I first told her about ErosBlog I made her pledge not to read it if she was going to have "TMI" problems, so how could I fail to extend her the same courtesy? As for my readers, the evidence -- emails and comments -- suggests that most folks like the diversity Aphrodite brings to the party. Her authorial voice is very different from mine. I've gotten a few complaints, but most of them seemed to be from assholes who simply didn't want to hear a woman's perspective. It's not a problem.

Sunni: I don't know how to ask this without sounding like a total Freudian, which is not what I mean at all. [pauses] Is part of your reason for doing a sex blog to help compensate for negative attitudes you got when young, and/or a lack of activity at times in your adult life?

Bacchus: I'm sure. When I started the blog I was single and lonely. I've been single and lonely a lot in my adult life, in part because I grew up in a very remote, almost unpopulated area, and had to wait until college to start learning the courtship rituals and confidence that most people start learning in junior high. Being a reader and very verbally-oriented, I've always enjoyed written erotica and sex writing of various kinds, so it was natural for me to turn to sex blogging when I was bored, lonely, and spending a lot of time surfing the adult web anyway.